So I just got another comment explaining to me how someone's friends are really mean and evil- and how only their cosplay friends act this way, and it's always just in the community… how the community is really horrible and twisted- and people are so friggin mean- and I just want to point out something of relevance and address this because it's really starting to confuse me… just because of this-
It's not 'just your cosplay friends' or 'just the community' it's everyone.
Humans act this way.
People want validation for their work, time, effort, and artists are one of the biggest roles in which the only validation you generally get only that, and sometimes people don't even get that pat on the back.
It's really tough out there.
So yes- human beings may attempt to out shine you, or put you down- or accuse you of things- it's habit. This would not apply just to the cosplay community- have you ever had to put your art in a gallery? Trust me- not everyone is going to be all thumbs up if your work is sub par to theirs and if you're peers with people it's even worse. Everyone is a shining miracle of ability- the work environment and job environment in that field is tense…because praise is so rare, getting paid? You can almost forget that. It's tough out there in the world, but that's just it- that's what it is, and it's not limited to "just this group of friends" or "just this community" and I'm sick of hearing bad shit about cosplayers in general, I'm sick to death of it because it's normal,and it's not limited to just this community.
(Not to confuse my meaning or point to be "everyone is just a bunch of jerks lol")
I dunno I think it's just a matter of competition. You can say "cosplay is for fun" all you like, and other people can call it "just a hobby" but people are spending HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS, and hours and HOURS of work- in order to just do something for fun. Sometimes they may attempt to validate this with praise-sometimes they attempt to get their money out of it by selling it after- but however you attempt to validate the time and money and energy you get out of making a costume, make sure that validation does not depend upon others. It's when the concept of their version of "HAVING FUN" relies upon others that people end up hurting their friends. Don't ever be co-dependent upon your friends never messing up, never being competitive, and never being HUMAN. Drive to only compete with YOURSELF, and make costumes ONLY FOR YOURSELF, do things to be BETTER THAN the you of yesterday, not better than others, or to put yourself above someone else. These are mistakes - and pit holes, that we fall underneath. We compare ourselves to others, and if we feel inadequate, we have to bring them down. We have to FIND SOMETHING we don't like...and then we can't let it go. They just can't NATURALLY be enjoyed by us, because we are human...it is what we do. It is who we are.
I'm normal just like any other human being- and sometimes if I know I worked really hard on something, and it bombs, and gets like 2 views, sure, I get a little upset…just like anyone else. I wouldn't attempt to compete with someone else, or put someone else down, but I do feel the sting of it. Or if someone complained about me when I was in costume, or started rumors I was in it for the attention- - it kind of hurts, makes it harder for me to enjoy it- but I have to remember that gives them power over what I do, and if I am in the mindset that I am going to have a good time, there's not a thing anyone can do about it. Free will and all. Hence I give myself down to Earth attitude by saying this: "Shit will happen, people WILL talk shit, others WILL hate on me, my costume WILL probably fall apart, I WILL probably sew this sleeve on backwards again at some point, and there's really nothing I can do about it." Right- "Except, how I REACT to it."
Because that's the world- that's what we live in- if we expect something, then when it doesn't come, we can't be stressed about that- sometimes we think things will happen, and something else does.
Expect the expected, expect the unexpected, but never THINK something will go THIS CERTAIN WAY and hold onto that as truth, that way you don't hold anyone to some sort of perfect standard, and then you will be able to control your reaction so much easier.
Just think of the megaphone as your own personal ability to control how you react to something xD and suddenly you can do whatever you want.
What's more important:
YOU DO IT TOO.
I don't know a single person out there who is a saint, this goes for everyone again, not just in the cosplay community. If you have never said anything out loud- good for you, but you thought it. YOU got jealous of someone with an infinite amount of pageviews- YOU got upset that someone on DA/FB/TWITTER/whatever got more views than you on a costume or got more props at con or la de da /reasons. Or you got upset ABOUT someone - or nit picked them, or FOUND something- to hold them hostage from enjoying them.
It happens to all of us- just some of us are more vocal about it.
It's called "jealousy"
We're HUMANS. We're ARTISTS, we're WRONG sometimes.
And i'll tell you what feeling wrong feels like when you don't know you're wrong- it feels like BEING RIGHT.
Sometimes we feel right, and we feel validated about what we are doing, when we are very wrong. To me, some of the most important people in my life are not people who are always right- they are not perfect, they are far from it...I may call them "perfect" but it's only because they are my heroes, and I love them...because they admit when they are wrong. - They realize, and take the time to listen when people explain to them how their actions have hurt others, and they make up for it. To me, this is what it is to be perfect, to me, this is what I want in my life. When I see someone who cannot realize it, who won't admit to it- and is just always such a victim, and is always so justified in their own actions, I cannot trust them...and I don't want them in my life anymore. It's HARD to admit and realize you're wrong, and it's even harder to live up to the mistakes you've made once you see them- but to me, that is so much more important, and I would freely forgive someone who had the strength to do that. I would want that in my life over someone perfectly inhuman any day of the week.
I've thought the whole nine yards of bad things- but what made it work for me was that I -realized- I was -WRONG- before I got upset. Before I said / did ANYTHING about this, I understood I was jealous- and I stopped it. That way I didn't say some unwarranted messed up comment, or posted on some anon forum to ream someone from the shadows, that way I never hated anyone, and respected and admired people- because that's what I really want to do - giving face is one of the MOST important aspects of my existence. I say more positive things about other people than I could ever care to say for myself... and it's because I know myself. I know when I'm jealous- and I stifle it before it becomes a problem for someone else, before my WRONG feelings become a burden to others. I have to live with myself, and my mistakes, and so I have to make sure I stop them before I make them. If I make them- I have to make up for it.
That's how it works.
The point is to be HONEST with yourself, everyone. Why are you saying these things? Why are you being vocal? Why are you putting people down? And if the answer is because you're jealous, or competitive, then just switch it up. Look at all the good there is out there, and let it go. Why waste any time being upset at anyone, when you can enjoy them? It's gonna happen- you're going to look down on your friends once and a while, be judgmental, and you're … going to be wrong.
Just realize yourself, and that way you can avoid turning other people into these horrible malevolent jerks. Because if you're this beautiful wonderful person, who's never been wrong, you lose what it is to be human, and then you never learn what it is to really appreciate your flaws. To be human is to make mistakes, to be wrong, and if you're always perfect——then what room does that leave for you to make mistakes? To learn? To improve?
It only leaves room for other people to make all the mistakes for you. You won't ever learn because you won't ever take responsibility- you will keep making the same mistakes, and you will keep throwing people under the bus you made and you will keep jumping from friends group to friends group until you either learn and improve, or just find someone who will put up with your abuse. Find someone who will burden themselves with all of your mistakes, and you will hurt them, and you will make them wrong for you- and you will keep it up. Just become abusive? For the rest of your life? That's no way to live.
If you are wrong- there is nothing wrong with YOU- that's what we are. If you are unable to see it...well then...
You can make everyone else evil, and that's just no good.
And if someone else is being jealous/competative/angry at you- it's human nature, they will get over it, or they won't…but the best way you can take it is to move along and consider it flattery- after all- a goal of happiness is measured by how we choose to take things.
So please- take things with a grain of salt, react well, and BE WELL. <3
With all the earnest sincerity I can give XD <3 Cyril <3