Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Varied / Student Official Beta Tester Cyril U. WinterFemale/United States Groups :iconkoi-fanclub: Koi-fanclub
Special Little Fan Group
Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
25 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 634 Deviations 35,400 Comments 555,625 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Random from Fanwork For Koi Cosplay

Group Cosplays

Flash Player 8 is required to view SitBack. Get the latest version of Flash Player.


Cyril U. Winter
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
SND stamp by SitarPlayerIXS+N stamp by SitarPlayerIXAD stamp by SitarPlayerIXKoi Cosplay Support by xXxAyaxXx:iconkoi-fanclub::iconravenxsabrina-fc: Facebook Fan Page


Believe in the me that sees the beauty in you- dance like it's heaven on Earth, and love like you've NEVER been hurt.


Journal Entry: Sun Aug 17, 2014, 8:09 AM
So this is going to happen and it's going to be long but I would suggest that people please hear me out out of respect for my opinion and the like- I'm not saying that what my opinion is is the honest to god "right" out there- but that I have to spill it because I am very passionate on this subject, and it's just a matter of talking it out, and I didn't realize how passionate I was about it untiljust recently when I talked to Burger CoonTm at Nisei for a bit. 

It's sort of a novel, or a book likely, but I don't think I'll be able to get to bed until it's completely out just because I am a communicative person and I'm not the type to sleep until I get everything out, and I just am fed up and this needs to happen ----WARNING: Lots of freaking excessive swearing, I'm not even in the mood right now to censor myself, I am too rage quitty to even try, I just gotta vent, and that's why every thing is so vulgar you could practically roll through it with a pirates ship and fit in.

WARNING: You will likely get pissed if you're against GoFundMe, I dunno maybe, I feel my points are pretty sound, but I bet the internet will find a way to ream me. I don't really care tho. Just wanna get it out because I just want the garbage out of my head. 

I don't care about cosplayers asking for help to fund their costumes and projects. I just don't.

I do -not- care, if someone wants to go to some con in a faraway place, I don't care if they wanna get a suite in JW MARRIOT, I don't care if they are self entitled and want to repay people in hugs, I don't care if they DO repay people with hugs, I don't care if someone wants a damn mermaid tail, I don't care about any of this for a few reasons: 

1: I don't have to donate 

2: I am in control of my checkbook, and i would really appreciate that if I DID donate that people didn't paint me as a victim being manipulated, holy cow please...don't do that to me .....and shoot anyone-while we're at it. Bad manners.

3: Whoever does is the ONLY person who has a right to complain if they don't get what they wanted out of it IMO. If I post something asking for the biggest milkshake, and someone gets a kick and a smile out of it and decides to throw me five dollars, that's their business. It's their god damn money, I don't think I'm a victim when I indulge my friends or spend money on people I care about, and why should they? They want me to be happy drinking my damn milkshake, good for them, good for me, should they maybe get everyone a milkshake now? The hell I don't even know but too philosophical I know I can't be bothered to care or keep track or be jealous of every little thing someone gets so I really can't answer that, not everyone deserves a gold star, or everyone does if someone gets one, what the fuck ever. Life is fucking unfair, some people deserve a break, others deserve a shit flush and instead get a silver spoon in their mouth, I don't know these people, and I don't wanna bother being obsessed with everything they do and shitbagging them in the process anymore, and I am damn sorry I even reflected on bothering, some things are just train wrecks, and the best I can do is look away. Other people I legitimately can get behind them asking for someone to just do them a god damn solid without getting judged and scrutinized, life is hard enough for them, let them alone. Also I don't even really like milkshakes so I sincerely and genuinely promise you this will never happen. Who does a GoFundMe for that anyways...

Hahahahahaha...I would so donate to that actually...... if it happened after this post, I would buy a person a milkshake pfpthththht...

4: There are GoFundMe's and there are GoFuckYourselves -- two very different things that pose as the same damn thing under the same damn title in the same damn site it's infuriating- After learning about Dashcon, I really just can't be bothered to care about someone being HONEST when they ask for money straight up, for whatever intention, at least there's some sense of dignity in that, at least they aren't telling you they are trying to make a con and then stiffing you and everyone you know and then throwing you in a ballpit and telling you to go wild. Yea Dashcon is this 17000.00 dollar GoFuckMe that just was a huge scam. I was all pissing in my seat and watching some broskis who pulled off some fund for a costume and completely missed the fact that they are damn well being up front about their personal whims, there's gotta be some saving grace in that-, you can indulge them, or you can move on, you've got CHOICES AND OPTIONS, pretty cool. I realized I just don't wanna think about it anymore. Pointing fingers at people who are putting themselves out there and asking for donations as the source of all that's wrong with the cosplay world- I'm gonna just give myself a break and not sit here trying to wrap my head around that, and I am ashamed I even bothered to try. They couldn't even manipulate a single one of those donaters because they are DEAD HONEST. Come the shit on. They are STILL going to ask for stuff, and some of them will get it, I'm not going to get my feelings wrapped up around ANOTHER thing that's going to keep my panties in a twist for DAYS. Even if I was best friends with JESUS, had Sauron's all seeing eye or some shit, could inception their brain- and was able to inform all of China they were totes assholes, at the end of the day, I don't control other people, and that's that. I still really don't feel entitled to bash them, because whatever man-I value the shit out of their honesty rather than scamming the collective community. The only thing I can really do is just avoid having a strong opinion about most things, because when my morals were at their height, just about every fucker out there was on my bad side, and I really just can't do it anymore because I wanna have at least one friend in this universe or some such and humans are insufferably selfish sometimes. Don't a single one of you pretend that you don't want recognition of some sort/payment of some sort for hard work and effort-regardless of what it is, especially if you fronted for materials for that. Although I personally see the honor in making OTHER people's costumes, to be honest, not really big into people buying shit for me, makes me antsy and TMI- the one time I did a fundraiser I felt sick at myself for days and those things were for Raven's birthday and I STILL haven't gotten over the shame and it was a ride to the moon and back of stupid feels and it's been fuck all HELLA DAYS.I still can't even feel okay, even with making art, making prints, paying people partially back- and it's because I'm not allowed to ask for help, and i gotta do everything BY MYSELF, COMPLETELY- because that's a good idea- and just...fuck. Jesus christ. Society what the shit have half a heart and we'd be half way there. 

5: I'm not into peer pressuring people into acting or being a certain way, I want people to be as loud as hell about their true colors so I can be given the choice to avoid them, rather than putting up some false front and manipulating me to death. It just makes it all the easier for me to move the hell on before you burn me. So if you're a damn dick deep down, please by all means make an art of it so people can like you for who you actually are. For everyone else, like me, who don't like jerks, I'll find me a corner of give the fuck up and indulge myself in some peace of mind. I don't know how anyone else can manage to wrap their offense around this, I sort of want to applaud you all, but I sort of want to laugh at it at the same time-End all and be all, YOU can try to control people, YOU can shame them, YOU can socially isolate them because you see them as morally wrong, but I'M not going to even bother. Or shit fuck I'll just be happy because they pulled a hell of a thing I dunno what the hell ever. 

Sometimes even I feel like applauding the antagonist because shit son Dashcon was just, hell. Somehow, in some weird malevolent masochistic pathetic way.

6: Broskis being guests at cons, broskis getting flown across the world to attend things, broskis getting handed free hotel and free room and board and all the god damn perks, you're getting something for free, there is a god damn cosplay hierarchy, shit Yaya Han really needs to dress up as a cosplay princess and ride in her chariot of royal beauty straight into Fanime, and you know what? I'd applaud it, because I would for once like to see the honesty in it. (I've got nothing against Yaya she's just a pretty stellar example and why not mention her because she'd be pretty darn glorious) Also being that freaking Mary Sue is really just, comical. Being beautiful, rich, and talented, hard working ETC---all you god damn people are, or combinations of the four or something, and I am happy for every single one of you, and such--but when I got the chance to go to Dublin Ireland, I fucking said "No" because I didn't want my friends, and the people who look up to me, to think that I was some mooch. I didn't want them mad at me for being supported by fans. That's how I honestly felt. Now that's my opinion on what it would be if -I- did it, I don't pass judgement on other people, I admire them for being able to get over that mental hurdle I just couldn't, called SELF ESTEEM, I just know damn well there's no effing way I could have done that in the past. I felt like I had my head in the game and I was doing the right thing. I felt like sacrificing these opportunities would be good for me, because people would see someone like me, who was all popular, (omfuckingyaywhat) was really a good way for the community to stay. This is what I thought, and man I must have been one deluded person to lay that into my own mentality. I'm STILL fighting off people celebrating my god damn birthday because I'm ashamed to be arrogant enough to ask for people to do so, and the people who do I keep closer to my heart than Peter in Neverland, No one is shaming people for being cosplayers and saying it's all for fun while going to conventions getting most of the shit paid for, because THOSE people are respected because they earned it somehow, someway, by being combinations of the aforementioned set, and people who have supporters who ask for help to go to a con- ........they......................don't ...............................deserve it. 

It sort of sounds like the same thing to me. Using a GoFundMe to go to a con, and getting paid to go to a con because you're famous and the con wants to have you as guests....yeah it sort of ...really sounds like fans supporting you and your work. (Unless there's no work behind it which is where the GoFuckYourselves come from. Which is I think where all the anger is coming from.) 

In the end, having shit paid for, having free hotel stays, being flown across the world, is now what a lot of people want, it's becoming the social norm, monkey see monkey do and who the hell can blame them? These are the people they look up to, achieving these things, they want to meet them, they want to get their autographs, see them at cons, and dream of cosplaying with them. Being respected for your work, respected as a person and an artist, supported? The fact that people are ELEVATED to those levels and it's actually possible? How dare people want that, how dare they fight to get money to keep producing to keep making things to keep in the lime light, so that eventually they could be renowned for their talent, beauty, hard work, effort and ultimately, their god damn time. Oh and hopefully their wonderful personality >>; I'm really hoping. 

What attention whores.


Freaking why?!?! 

What is wrong with that? I mean a lot of people are accusing each other of doing that- because a lot of people are??! Which is OKAY??? It's OKAY to want to be paid for your work as a artist, and your time making things, and receive praise- and when other people do, IT'S OKAY TO BE HAPPY FOR THEM god - it's become SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SLOWLY BUT SURELY because a LOT of people in the community fucking want it because a lot of people in the community are working by example! and slowly but surely WE SHOULD STOP SHAMING EACH OTHER FOR WANTING. No one WANTS truly, to sit down, pay for an outfit, work for hours tirelessly with no form of reward, not even one snippet of praise, not even one person even noticing them for their efforts- no one freaking god damn well wants that unless they are just masochistic, which half the time I imagine some people are the way we treat each other in this community. At least be honest and be like "it's hella totes supes my dream to achieve the goal of traveling allovas because of stuff I make cuz I'ma super cool artist bro" Then I could actually weigh in if I wanted to help them or if I thought I should run like, the fuck away. Or pretend i'm part of their surroundings, like shit son a ninja. 

I usually stick with the ones who really want this shit but work hard for it but you fucking know whatever, I just respect them as people, weird. I just wanna hang around them, because they are good company, and I can get drunk and they would like, hold my hair. Even though I never get drunk really and no one ever holds my hair it's the thought that counts. 

I'm not going to hold everyone up to my super ridiculous black and white morals, because I know socially people just are sort of messed sometimes- , and I know I can't be a certain way, and I know I'm not arrogant, and I damn well KNOW i'm a good person and anyone who passes up on that can do so without shaming the shit out of me thanks, just move on up and leave me to my own personal baggage- and I'm not going to expect everyone to be afraid of accepting any kind of support- just know that I couldn't because I felt like it was the right thing to do, and I felt like I wanted my friends to look up to me, to KNOW I wouldn't take the offer because I really, TRULY, did it just for fun. 

But I got accused of being an attention whore anyways, years later, when I did a print sale to fix my damn car. So- in the end, I don't want to discourage anyone from doing what they can to YOLO and live their life to the fullest extent, and if that means getting a helping hand from people who give fucks about you, then you do that. It's not my thing, but I'm not going to judge you if it's yours. Somewhere down the line, someone's gonna hate you either way, so you may as well do what you gotta do to be who you wanna be. Be a guest at a con, sign autographs, do what you gotta do, as long as you are respectful, kind, and honest, and straightforward with your intentions I'm alright with that. I might not buy you a mermaid tail because wtf, but I'm not gonna hate on you. I don't give anymore fucks and I'm gonna be loud about that-, because in the end, you being who you are is all that should matter to any damn person, and being fake and being a manipulator well-no one likes that, and that's why the GoFundMe's piss people off, because everyone is looking for a damn bad guy because everyone is- just a little freaking bit. 

I'm going to bed, and for anyone who wants to be angry at me, go on ahead, I'm cool with that, let's fight or something, whatever. End super long essay.

72 deviants said Okay I'll follow you (hu)
38 deviants said What??? WHY???

Facebook 'like' page



Add a Comment:
kevin4 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
happy birthday! :)Hug 
shipain Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
:iconbummiesplz:Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too
KuchikixRukia Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
happy birthday ~ ! nice else wig btw Neko Emoji-37 (Yay) [V2] 
Immortal-Kid Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Happy birthday! Hope you've had a fab day, hope you've had everything you've wished for. :3 <3
Sergetoxic Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :D I hope you're having a great day!!
Eaglelives Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
Happy birthday M'Lady, have a great one!
Destiny3000 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Child-Like-Minded Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday Cyril! Hope you have a most wonderful and awesome filled day! =D :hug: :heart: 
conquest79 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
have a joyful bday
Dmx4ever Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
Happy Birthday!!! birthday cake 
Add a Comment: